A Man Reads 50 Shades Of Grey

Chapter 26 in Brief Bland non-events occur. Everyone is dissatisfied.

Chapter 25 in Brief 'The Situation' makes a cameo appearance.

So, here's some news while you patiently wait for Chapter 25 (which will hopefully be up on Monday!) I've been asked to appear as a guest for a discussion about 50 Shades! It's going to be on HuffPost Live and will be on at 10:30pm if you're in the UK, 5:30pm if you're on the East Coast of America...or another time if you live somewhere else. You work it out...I can't do everything for you! The discussion is titled 'Has 'Fifty Shades Of Grey' Hurt Marriages?' and will look at 1 woman's story who has filed for divorce because her husband won't join in with her 50 Shades roleplay. Yup. Seriously. If you're interested in seeing me look awkward while someone asks me questions, the link you'll need is: http://live.huffingtonpost.com/r/segment/fifty-shades-of-divorce/50a2b245fe344420a1000060 See you there (maybe...) - Dave www.twitter.com/dvdjmskng

Here's a teeny tiny post while I get around to writing Chapter 25.

Chapter 24 in Brief Man treats woman. Woman tries to treat man.

Chapter 23 in Brief Woman periods EVERYFUCKINGWHERE.

Chapter 22 In Brief Woman visits her Mum. 

Chapter 21 In Brief Woman gets jealous.

Chapter 20 In Brief Man tells woman a secret.

Chapter 19 In Brief   Family eats meal. 

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Chapter 17 In Brief   People send e-mails.

Chapter 16 In Brief Man hits woman. Everyone feels a little awkward.

Chapter 15 In Brief   Man and woman discuss a contract...again...

Chapter 14 In Brief   People talk to each other.

Chapter 13 In Brief   Man and woman have a meal.

Chapter 12 In Brief   Man walks into a room.  

Morning all! Check out my guest post on www.somethingshortandsnappy.blogspot.com

Good morning/afternoon/evening to you. Sorry for being a truly despicable human being this week. As you will have undoubtedly noticed, there have not been any chapter updates and an eerie silence has fallen over the blog...UNTIL NOW!! Below is a fantastic guest post which comes from Erika Miller. She runs www.somethingshortandsnappy.blogspot.com and has also had the idiotic wonderful idea to do a chapter-by-chapter review of 50 Shades. Her blog is utterly hilarious and if you enjoy my blog, you will pretty much fall in love with hers. Plus, she uses the term 'lady-boner' which I love and want to steal.

Morning all! Please feel free to hate me and boo me, but Chapter 12 will not be up today. SAD FACE. Also, from now on, I will only be putting up 1 chapter review a week. SUPER SAD FACE. Allow me to explain...

Chapter 11 In Brief   Woman discovers e-mail.

Chapter 10 In Brief   Man tells woman a secret.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Chapter 8 In Brief   Woman and man have sex.

Chapter 7 In Brief   Woman negotiates. Poorly.

Chapter 6 In Brief   Woman goes to a man's house.  

Chapter 5 In Brief   Woman gets up and has breakfast.  

I had to get up at 3:30am this morning. I was up SO early that Groupon hadn’t even e-mailed me. For the first time ever, I felt like I’d beaten them. I was 1 step ahead. However, I woke up to an empty inbox which made me feel a little bit sad. At least Groupon acknowledge my existence…something which no other human being had managed to do during my 4 hours of sleep last night. As a result of my tiredness and general lethargy, I won’t be popping up a post today…but I will try my absolute hardest to get Chapters 5 & 6 up on Saturday & Sunday. From that point, I’ll be posting a chapter review every other day unless I’ve got other plans which do not involve punching words of hatred into my poor keyboard.

Join me on Twitter! - www.twitter.com/50ShadesDave So before I start pulling Chapter 4 apart, I just wanted to say a massive thank you to everyone who has read and shared this blog so far. It's great to know that people are reading and enjoying what I'm writing. People I've never met have been in touch, telling me that they're liking the blog and people I've not seen for years have been sharing it with their friends. It's all quite humbling, especially considering I thought that this would only really be read by a handful of people. If you've read it or told anyone about it, THANK YOU!! Please continue to spread the word if you like what you read.

Chapter 3 In Brief   2 people go on an awkward date.

Contrary to popular opinion, you CAN have too much of a good thing. After all of my hard work last week where I read 2 WHOLE chapters, I have given myself the weekend off. During this time, I have attempted to reassimilate myself back into the real world. It has been tough. 

Chapter 2 In Brief Woman sells items to a man.

Chapter 1 In Brief   Unprepared woman conducts appalling interview. 

As with every book, there is a lot of guff to get through before you get to the bit you're interested in. If I'm going to read the whole thing, it's only fair to start with the front cover.

I’m officially a grown-up. I know this because a few weeks ago I was sitting in a pub talking about books with my wife and friends, Poli and Jon. When I was younger I would not talk about books…especially not in a pub. Why talk about books when you can chat about your mate’s friend who drank a pint of his own sick or who’d win in a fight between Robocop and Terminator.

I spent £2.69 last night on something that I might hate. Generally speaking, when you make a purchase, there are decisions involved. One of the thoughts will be along the lines of 'Will I hate this and immediately regret buying it?' If the answer is yes, you won't spend your money on it. Unless you are an idiot.