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The Future...

Morning all!

Please feel free to hate me and boo me, but Chapter 12 will not be up today. SAD FACE. Also, from now on, I will only be putting up 1 chapter review a week. SUPER SAD FACE.

Allow me to explain...



I love writing this blog. I really do. It has been more popular than I ever could have imagined, so thank you for reading + sharing the angry ramblings of a silly man. The feedback that I've had is amazing and it seems like people are genuinely enjoying what I'm writing about. As a result of this, I've decided to focus my attentions on writing my own book. This is something I've wanted to do for a long time, but have never had the confidence to do. After getting so many amazing comments from people on here and on Twitter, I think it would be better to focus my energies on my own book, rather than pulling apart EL James' work. I will still finish the book...and I will still write chapter reviews...but it will just take me a little longer to get through it.

Starting next week, the review will be up every Wednesday. Consider it a Hump-Day treat. This week is a bit of a mystery to me because I'm off to a few Olympic events, so please bear with me! I am also writing a post for another blog about why Christian is a such an intolerable shit. I'll post the link here later this week, along with a post that another (very funny) blogger has written for me. I'll then have a chapter review up at some point...but I don't know when just yet. If you want to know when blog posts are up, follow me on Twitter (@dvdjmskng) as I'll pop up a snippet before the posts go live.

The book that I'm going to start working on is an account of my time working as a Summer Camp Counselor in America. As we don't have Summer Camps here in the UK, I am hoping that the book will give everyone an idea about what actually goes on at camp as most people will only have 'The Parent Trap' as a reference point. I've just set up a new Twitter account, so if you'd like updates on my new project, please follow @living10for2 or pass it on to someone who might be interested.

In other news, I was Tweeting with EL James yesterday. No big deal. She sent me a message, thanking me for following her, so I replied:

@dvdjmskng: Thanks for the books! I know they're not aimed at men but I'm reading+retelling 50SOG so guys can see what all the fuss is about. 

@E_L_James: Um... thank you! I will hide my blushes! 

@dvdjmskng: Haha, although it's not for me, I've understood my wife's love of your books+has inspired me to try+write my own book. Thank you! 

@E_L_James: Good luck :) 

I'd be surprised if she has read the blog, but I'm amazed that she replied, seeing as she's the most in-demand author in the world at the moment. Despite all of her success, I like that EL James takes time to connect with the people who are actually buying and reading her books. Would JK Rowling Tweet you back in a matter of minutes? Of course not! There's probably a lesson there for all independent authors...I just can't be bothered to work out what it is. Although I'm not a fan of EL James' books, I am now a fan of EL James.

Thanks for reading + I hope that you continue to check out the blog!

Comments

  1. Hi again Dave,

    It was actually your blog that inspired me to write my new book (I had the idea a while ago but I have a lot of ideas that I never actually do anything with). It's a parody of Fifty Shades called fifty Shades of Brown, and while it isn't the first parody someone has done, I'm pretty sure it's the funniest. It's only hubris if I'm wrong. I'd love it if you and your readers had a butcher's at it - it's at http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008QNE5S6/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B008QNE5S6&linkCode=as2&tag=modernistdepot-20

    As an English girl living in Seattle I love anything about how America is weird, so I can't wait for your book. Keep up the retelling though, my friends and I are all hooked.

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    1. That's amazing! Congratulations on getting an actual book written. I'll have to check it out once I'm done with the real thing...I don't want to read your book + find out any spoilers! If anyone reading this has bought + read 50 Shades of Brown, please leave a nice review!

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  2. This makes me sad but good luck with your book!! (:

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    Replies
    1. Sorry for making you sad...it wasn't my intention! I'll have a blog post up on another blog in a few days where I talk about how Christian Grey is the worst person in the world. I'll post the link up here as soon as I can!

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  3. I like how your tweets to EL James didn't say you were ripping her book apart for our amusement,and her blushes suggest you are a fan...naughty Dave! Good luck with your own writing, I will look forward to seeing it in print. x

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    Replies
    1. Haha...I'm only ripping them apart because the books make it easy for me! They are a victim of their own success!

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  4. good luck with your book. will be looking forward to wednesdays.

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  5. & this
    http://jottify.com/works/fifty-shades-of-gay/

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  6. Come on Dave. I cannot believe you are putting the world's "foremost sports competition" ahead of my ability to read your blog. I cannot believe you are putting your dreams ahead of my ability to read your blog. I cannot believe you have allowed millions of your fans to spread the word of your blog to everyone they know; to help you enjoy fame and success; to risk their reputations only to discover that the hero they believed in has decided to cast them aside for the next best thing. Like a one-eyed cat watching two mouse holes you've moved on to the next best thing and your faithful readers are forced to wait. (Really that's nothing at all like a one-eye car watching two mouse holes but the visual is quite hilarious) I ask, nay beg, for the good of mankind, please read 50 shades of grey.

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    1. Olympics YAY!! 50 Shades BOO!! Sorry for ruining your life...but look at it this way. You now get to spread the enjoyment out over a longer space of time. Think of me as a tender lover, taking my time and teasing you, rather than smashing your backdoors in and then never calling.

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    2. Well...if you put it that way it's like you're doing me a favor. Please accept my apology and consider me indebted to you. Are you going to post updates to your book anywhere besides twitter? I refuse to tweet.

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    3. Just for you I will pop some updates on Facebook. Also, I think I'm going to concentrate on 50 Shades for the next few weeks, so you can once again think of me as someone who will smash your backdoors in and never call. I think that's good news?

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  7. Good luck with the book Dave. I hope there'll be lashings and lashings of lip-biting!

    D'you reckon your own book will spawn it's own fan fiction which will then bring about a blog which rips it apart? (From which comes a book, then some fan fiction...)

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    1. If my book did spawn some fan fiction I would probably shit myself. I might have to shoehorn some vampires, awkward sex or playboy billionaires into my summer camp tale...apparently that's all you need to do to sell loads of books!

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  8. I wanted to enter the drawing competition but I see this has now closed!

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    1. The drawing competition is now open again!!! If you have a picture, please send it over to dvdjmskng@gmail.com. I will absolutely include it in the next blog post!

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  9. Ok, so I'm just a guy, no expertise or experience in the industry, but I would say that rule number one (from a publishing perspective, not a writer's) is give the audience what it wants. I applaud you writing a book (I recently finished my first novel - it's crap) but currently people are interested in you for this blog, not for a book about summer camps. You have a real chance to gain fame through this blog, and I would say that the sooner you finish it the better. You may even find a publisher that wants to publish the blog.
    In the 15 weeks that you plan on taking to finish this blog the hysteria over the tripe that is 50 Shades (never read it but I am drawn towards agreeing with your evey viewpoint) may have died down, and you may have missed, not your only chance, but certainly your best chance to date at becoming noticed. If you focused all your attention on this blog, you could finish it in three weeks or so, which is hardly a long time to put off writing a book.
    My completely worthless advice? Finish the blog as soon as possible and send it off to publishers telling them that you also want to write the summer camp book. You may get the blog published or get commissioned to write the book.
    You are a good writer. You need to take your chances when they come.
    Also, I like reading it and don't want to wait for weekly episodes.
    Right, now to de-crap my novel...

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    1. Hello anonymous person + thank you ever so much for your thoughts and you're completely right! Last week 50 Shades was getting a bit much and I wanted to do something other than read about lip-biting and rapey Mexicans. I basically hit the wall...there is only so much 50 Shades that a man can take!

      You're spot on with everything that you've said, so thank you mysterious stranger for giving me the kick up the arse that I probably needed!

      Best of luck with your novel + thanks again for the advice.

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  10. Brilliant, only found this today - thank goodness now I never have to read the wretched book, you have saved me the trouble, and given me a laugh at the same time - see - not ALL women are reading it!! Bad sex, bad grammar - forget it!

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    1. I think that you are one of only 2 women in the world who has not yet read it. Congratulations for resisting so far...but I think it's worth a read, if only to make your own mind up!

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  11. That was fecking good advice anonymous gave you. Plus I also don't want to wait a week. I love your writing and will even join Twitter just to hear your arctic views on life. Keep going Dave. You may enjoy reading about ana's punishments!

    Big fan

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  12. I haven't read it, and I wrote a parody of it - I got all the plot points up to chapter 11 from Dave's blog and the rest from my friend who read the book and thought it was utter crap. I thought it was a better joke to have written a parody without ever having picked up the real book, so I went down that road. Those who have read my version and EL James' said I nailed the story that I never read, so I guess it is just that predictable, only she never uses the phrase "purple headed womb ferret" and I do. Another plug ;).

    http://www.amazon.com/Fifty-Shades-of-Brown-ebook/dp/B008QNE5S6/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1343825888&sr=1-2&keywords=fifty+shades+of+brown

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  13. Woman number 3 here! I didn't read Harry Potter because everyone else was - I don't like to follow the crowd! But I'm laughing myself silly at your blog, Dave! You have a great way with words - it's like reading back over a series of messages in a conversation with a friend... Keep at it! Think of yourself as the modern day satirist!

    Ju

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    1. You've not read Harry Potter OR 50 Shades? My goodness...how have you managed to have conversations with your friends over the past few years? Actually...I think I can answer my own question...you and your friends have good taste. Thanks for checking out the blog!

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